The Kangxi Grasslands PART I

Well, yes, it's been a VERY long time since I last posted. I'm having trouble finding some inspiration. Sure, I'm in Chinese class, I'm reading a book about China, but I haven't found anything to write about that I believe anyone else but myself will find entertaining. So, I've decided that the time has come, at last, to post the one email from China that I've been saving for a rainy day. I figure that a lack of inspiration is just as good an excuse as any. So, ladies and gentlemen, here you are. The almost-famous story of my experience at the Kangxi Grasslands.. Complete with commentary!

Yesterday (5/25) was a great day. (Looking back on it, I'm not sure I'd ever choose that word ever again..) My friend Alex and I went horseback riding to the same place where I went a few weeks ago.  This was a most RIDICULOUS experience, and will take a while to discuss, so I hope you all have enough time!!

We hopped on the bus at 7:30 a.m. and got near the grasslands by 9:30.  However, some older Chinese guy that I recognized from the last time I went to the grasslands approached me and told me to come ride his horses.  I was skeptical, but the bus stopped at a different stop and apparently the route had been changed - it no longer went directly to the grasslands.  So Alex and I got off as the guy offered to take us to his section of the grasslands for free by minivan.  I was careful to watch the roads to make sure we were going in the proper direction, which we were. (Yes, Alex and I got into a van with an almost-complete stranger in the middle of nowhere hours from the city. Alex is over 6 feet tall and incredibly fit, so I wasn't worried. I guess, for the same reasons, neither was Alex! Pictures of the Grasslands are below..)

We arrived and Alex and I paid to ride horses for an hour.  We got on our horses, and they were problematic from the beginning.  Alex's wouldn't do anything besides stand there.  No amount of kicking or slapping would make it move.  Mine was the exact opposite, crazy as the day is long.  It did the exact opposite of what I told it to, was jittery, and began backing up when I tried to make it walk - in short, I was afraid I was going to be thrown off.  I'm no horse expert, but I can tell when a horse has a nasty temper or when I'm not giving it clear commands - this one was trouble.  So Alex and I walked our horses back to the mounting area.  (All in mediocre Chinese) I told them that Alex's horse was stubborn, and mine was troublesome and that I was uncomfortable. (Alex's Chinese was much better than mine so he would jump in here and there to help clarify what i was saying.) I told them to give me a new horse.  They said there was no need and once I was out on the grasslands and away from the barn area, they'd be better behaved.  Well, having experienced this before, I trusted their word (a huge mistake) and tried to take the horses back out.  Every time I was harder on my horse, the worse it got.  Finally an older, Chinese man on a horse approached us and told us that for 30 yuan (a huge ripoff) he would strap our horses to his and take us out onto the grasslands. 

Then it hit me - they gave us the worst-behaved horses they had, being white and thinking we had money, so that we'd HAVE to pay extra for them to take us out.  Then I got pissed (please excuse the language, but there is no other word for it).  Beyond belief.  I flatly told the guy that it was too expensive and that I was NOT paying him to ride a horse when I had been trained to ride a horse since I was a child and knew what I was doing.

Finally, Alex and I got so frustrated that we returned the horses 15 minutes early (yes, we did NOTHING but try and command our horses into submission for 45 minutes).  We dismounted, and were asked by Mr. Swindler (the guy on the bus who took us to his horses) why we had come back early.  I, incredibly angrily, explained that our time was almost up and that we had done NOTHING for 45 minutes but ride trouble-horses.

Now, before I continue the story, I have to explain a little about Chinese culture - people are very modest here.  They are quick to dole out compliments, because the receiver of the compliment is supposed to deny the compliment in a modest way, a sign of not being full of themselves.  So, doling out insults is completely out of the question.  It's all about saving face, and insulting someone makes you look like a jerk.  No Chinese person that I have ever met would insult anyone to their face (unless of course they were in a verbal argument).

So, Mr. Swindler approaches me and says (in Chinese of course),

"That's okay.  You just don't know how to ride, you have very poor form.  But that's okay, you can ride a motorcycle or a dune buggy or something else."

I gave him the most ridiculous look on the planet.  I'm surprised droll didn't start falling out of my mouth from shock.  He continued,

"You just can't ride. ("Bu hui, bu hui" in Chinese)  You just can't ride, poor form."

Wrong timing, dude.  Absolute wrong timing.  For those of you who know me or who have seen me angry, you'll note that two things created a situation that was INCREDIBLY unfavorable for him:

1) He told me that I don't know how to do something when I do.

2) He insulted me when I was angry.  (I may be a white girl, but I'm great at performing 180s, especially when I'm upset)

So, not believing what I was hearing, I looked to Alex who happened to be sitting to my right, and said,

"Is he really telling me that I don't know how to ride?"

Alex looked to the ground, nodded his head subtly, bit his lower lip, and replied,

"..Yeah..he is."

I stood up, and forgetting about the 20-or-so people who were sitting around watching this happen, I stared him down and said in Chinese,

"I don't know how to ride?  Then you teach me!  Go.  Now.  Go ride my horse.  Teach me."

He stood there, flabbergasted.  So again, I yelled,

"NOW!  GO RIDE MY HORSE!"

So, accepting the challenge like the prideful jerk that he was, he approached my horse, and mounted it.

And had more trouble than I did.  The horse was pretty upset, and absolutely unwilling to obey him in any way, shape or form.  The crowd behind us was watching him deal with this jerky, anxious, foul-tempered animal.  And I, gloating in my satisfaction, turned to the crowd, and presented my arms very wide, making sure to display his, and yelled at the top of my lungs,

"HE CAN'T DO IT!  HE CAN'T DO IT!"

And they all broke into wild laughter.

Then things took a sad turn.  Mr. Swindler dismounted and put up a young boy from the ranch.  This young boy proceeded to wildly beat this poor animal with a bamboo stick when it refused to obey his commands.  He hit the horse everywhere - rump, side, shoulders, neck, face, any place you could think of.  I asked Mr. Swindler what he was doing.

"Training him," was his answer.

I laughed in his face.  "Are you joking?!"

"No, I'm not joking."

"Yeah, right, some training."

So I told Mr. Swindler to stop, and get the boy down, and stop beating the horse.  Which did happen, to my surprise.  After they tied up the horse, I went to it to try and calm it down (it must have been scared out of its wits).  I just stood there for a few minutes, petting its face and neck and scratching it behind the ears.

Then, a nice, older man approached my and offered to let me ride his horse, a large white one  I told him that I would ride only if they gave Alex a horse.  However, Alex was unnerved by the experience and didn't feel comfortable enough to ride any longer, so he declined.  So, I told Alex I'd be back in five minutes.  This horse seemed pretty calm and well-tempered when I approached it, so I took a chance.  And it was a great horse.  It was responsive to every little command I gave it.  So, I rode him out a little ways, and feeling that it wanted to return to the mounting area where it could just stand around, I dropped the reins and let it gallop full-speed back to where everyone happened to be watching me ride in on a huge white horse, obviously knowing what I was doing.

Take that, Mr. Swindler.

That's it for now! Tune in again later to find out how we got out of this situation...

Until next time (which hopefully won't be weeks and weeks from now)

I don't have a creative title for this post.

Today's post has absolutely nothing to do with China. I'm in the process of crafting a post on an interesting question posed to me by my brother, but for now, you'll just have to deal with this. It's serious, so if you want to read something funny, jump over to Cake Wrecks, or Hyperbole and a Half - both are accessible by my blog link on the right, over there. -->

I am stressed beyond belief. I just found out today that Boy and I did not get the grant for the concert series we're developing, www.huellaslatinasconcertseries.com - It was worth $10,000 but they didn't even bother to give us a portion of that. Well, not like I REALLY expected to get it. I knew we had made it to the finals, so that was really encouraging, but I'm sure they get thousands of applications every other month. I suppose we'll try and re-apply next cycle - September 3rd deadline.

Next, I actually have an interview for a job at Georgetown University next week. I'm scared and nervous. I know there's a possibility that I won't get it, but there's a possibility that I will. And I need to be prepared for either answer. Completely change my way of life, or not at all. There's no in between.

Home life is stressful. Everyone is constantly busy right now. I hide in my room in order to maintain my sense of self-calm since I am busy thinking and dealing with people all day at my job, but it doesn't always work. I've taken to practicing Yoga more than I ever expected, and I haven't been eating much these last few days. Just forgetting in the midst of everything.

I'm anxious for change in my life, but afraid to actually make it happen. I hate feeling scared and nervous. I know it's normal, but I don't seem to take any comfort in that fact either. I just want to pull a blanket over my head, read a book, drink some tea, and make time stop for a while. I feel like I must be giving myself stomach ulcers, worrying about so much of nothing, but no matter what I do I just can't seem to stop these nerves. Really, this would be a perfect time to start smoking (I won't).

For goodness' sake, I went to a country where I barely spoke the language and got around just fine, went off by myself, made travel arrangements, traveled 5,000 miles alone, and the idea of having a life change is scary. What is the matter with me?

I don't know about you, but I have no interest in being an adult. I don't want to check my credit report. I don't want to have to go buy groceries. I don't want to think about my cell phone bills. I don't want to think about investing money. I don't want to do job interviews.

Dear Lord, please help me to not lose my mind. Nor get stomach ulcers. Amen.

Authentic Chinese Cooking 103 - Not-so-authentic Bourbon Chicken

Actually, that's a lie. It might be authentic. Or maybe not. Who knows? I've found sooo many different ideas on where this dish comes from, how it's made, where it began, why it's named Bourbon chicken even though not all recipes contain bourbon.. Who the heck knows?!?!? Not me, that's for sure. But the one thing we ALL agree is is that it's FREAKIN' DELICIOUS!!!!!!

*Clears her throat sheepishly* Right. Well... Sometimes I get a little excited, okay?!? 

http://cookeatshare.com/recipes/my-chinese-left-overs-can-beat-up-your-chinese-left-overs-bourbon-chicken-273588

That's the original source for the recipe I used. On which I took creative license...

Dana's Bourbon Chicken

• 2 lbs boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces Done!
• 1-2 tablespoons olive oil *Puffs chest out proudly, fists on hips* I used PEANUT OIL! BOO-yah!
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed Check.
• 1/2 teaspoon ginger Yup.
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes Sno' nuff!
• 1/4 cup apple juice This is where I started to get creative... I didn't have apple juice, I had orange juice. So I used it.
• 1/3 cup light brown sugar Done and done.
• 2 tablespoons ketchup Uh huh..
• 1 tablespoon cider vinegar ALAS! More creative work ensued with this little bugger! I didn't have that either. I used regular vinegar. My friends- ... ... bad, bad choice.
• 1/2 cup water Yah.
• 1/3 cup soy sauce <-- IN MY DEFENSE she didn't specify WHICH type of soy sauce to use. I used dark soy sauce, to give the dish a "more robust flavor". Don't. I'll explain why below:

1. Heat oil in a large skillet. :)
2. Add chicken pieces and cook until lightly browned. Mine didn't really get brown. Whatever.
3. Remove chicken.
4. Add remaining ingredients, heating over medium Heat until well mixed and dissolved. *Big sigh* Okay. Where to begin? I started throwing in the stuff in some random order, no idea how. The orange juice smelled awesome, so I thought I was on a roll. Then, I got to the soy sauce. WHY, DEAR GOD? Why didn't you STOP me?!? I put in the correct amount of dark soy sauce. I tasted the mixture after adding the rest of the ingredients. NEWS FLASH, LIZ! DARK SOY SAUCE DOESN'T ENHANCE THE ROBUSTNESS OF YOUR DISH IT ENHANCES THE ROBUSTNESS OF THE SOY SAUCE!!! ... ... It tasted like dark soy sauce. Stupid. So next BIG mistake, I tried to cut it with the vinegar. And I didn't stop there! I kept adding vinegar until I couldn't taste the soy sauce anymore! Yay! ... ... But guess what I COULD taste? .. Yeah, you guess it. So I added some light soy sauce, some of this, some of that, etc. I basically looked like this, standing over the wok: 

However, no, I didn't suddenly sprout two extra arms, it happened to actually be a very nice and sunny day, and unless my brother was standing behind me waving his arms in an erratic fashion and yelling things like "BOOM!" and "CRASH!" then no. Those things didn't exist either. Just in my mind.

.. And I don't know why I drew myself adding pepper, because that dish didn't have any ground pepper in it. Come to think of it.. I wasn't holding a knife either.. *Ponders hard, then forgets the whole thing*

Anyway, long explanation short, I ended up adding more juice and things to make the dish sweeter, less acidic and less "soy"-ic. (?) It turned out REALLY well, and was quite delicious, but took a lot of experimenting to get right. Come on over sometime for some Bourbon chicken and  maybe I'll even entertain you with my crazy red, spinning eyes, my four arms, and lightening of anger/frustration!!!

Authentic Chinese Cooking 102 - Kung Pao Chicken (Or, You Might Also Need Protective Eyewear)

In some cases, making mistakes can actually turn out better than if you had just done everything correctly.

In the case of me attempting to make my first Chinese dish ... this was definitely NOT the case.

Now, before you go getting the idea that I had no idea what I'm doing ...

I'd say you're probably right.

But still! I had a recipe! Which I followed! And minus my one, small, itsy bitsy, teeny tiny moment of lack of forethought, everything went pretty smoothly. Oh, right, make that two small, itsy bitsy, teeny tiny moments of lack of forethought..

What I made: 宫保鸡丁 (gong bao ji ding - kung pao chicken)
Style: Sichuan (Szechuan)
Main ingredients: Chicken, chilis, scallions, and peanuts
Spice: level (Mine = very spicy; To Chinese people = mild to moderately spicy; To the average American palate = moderate to intensely spicy)

So I made Sichuan style which has peanuts - I've done some research, and many chefs state that this is not genuine at all, that true kung pao chicken shouldn't have ANY nuts. But I can tell you that in the Sichuan restaurants in Beijing, this is how they serve it. And it rocks. Almost every American I've met loves this dish.

I used the recipe that can be found here - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90206117 - but for the sake of readers' convenience, I'll need to repost it anyway.

Okay, here's the recipe, along with my commentary.

2 boneless chicken breasts, with or without skin (about 2/3 pound total)
3 cloves of garlic and an equivalent amount of fresh ginger
5 scallions, white parts only
2 tablespoons peanut oil
a generous handful of dried red chiles (at least 10), preferably Sichuanese
1 teaspoon whole Sichuan pepper
2/3 cup roasted unsalted peanuts

For the marinade:
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons light soy sauce
1 teaspoon Shaoxing rice wine or medium-dry sherry <-- At the time, I had no idea there was rice wine sitting in my refrigerator. I used dry sherry. No fracases ensued, so I can only assume that this works just as well.
1 1/2 teaspoons potato flour or 2 1/4 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon water

For the sauce:
3 teaspoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon potato flour or 1 1/8 teaspoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon dark soy sauce
1 teaspoon light soy sauce
3 teaspoons Chinkiang or black Chinese vinegar <-- I didn't have this, so I had to use regular vinegar. Disaster did occur, but not because of the vinegar and not during this dish. Tune in in a few weeks to read the Bourbon Chicken disaster miracle.

1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon chicken stock or water

1. Cut the chicken as evenly as possible into 1/2-inch strips and then cut these into small cubes. Place in a small bowl and mix in the marinade ingredients.

2. Peel and thinly slice the garlic and ginger, and chop the scallions into chunks as long as their diameter (to match the chicken cubes). Snip the chiles in half or into 2-inch sections. Wearing rubber gloves, discard as many seeds as possible. <-- If you've bothered to read my previous posts, you'll remember this picture.
Remember how I said I had to wrap my fingers with Saran wrap because I didn't get rubber gloves? Yep. At least I didn't touch my eyes, but it was REALLY difficult to get those little buggers out of those peppers. Sometimes you can just cut the pepper in half and dump the seeds out, but most of the time I had to poke and prod at the damn pepper with the tip of my knife, all the while the Saran wrap on my fingers was either getting in the way, leaving my fingertips devoid of feeling and causing me to stab myself, or unwrapping and making me feel like the clumsiest person on earth.



3. Combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl — if you dip your finger in, you can taste the sweet-sour base of the gong bao flavor.

4. Season the wok, (I have no idea what this means. I just put in the oil)then add 2 tablespoons of oil and heat over a high flame. When the oil is hot but not yet smoking, add the chiles and Sichuan pepper and stir-fry briefly until they are crisp and the oil is spicy and fragrant. Take care not to burn the spices (you can remove the wok from the heat if necessary to prevent overheating). YOU MIGHT ALSO NEED PROTECTIVE EYE WEAR! AND A NURSE'S MASK! *Sigh* Okay. I probably burned the chilies and the pepper. I couldn't really tell - except for the BURNING, DYING sensation in my eyes and lungs! The room got really smoky VERY quickly and the oil in the air from the chilies irritated my eyes, which started to tear up, and the smoke severely bothered my lungs. I definitely sounded like I had tuberculosis, whatwith all the coughing and hacking I did there in the kitchen. I had to ask my roommates to come help me finish cooking because I couldn't stand over the wok anymore. Which, btw, they were not happy about..

5. Quickly add the chicken and fry over a high flame, stirring constantly. As soon as the chicken cubes have separated, add the ginger, garlic, and scallions and continue to stir-fry for a few minutes until they are fragrant and the meat is cooked through (test one of the larger pieces to make sure). This part went just fine. However, my next unfortunate moment came when I added a pre-made, pre-seasoned jar of kung pao chicken sauce with peanuts to the dish. I was so afraid that the taste wouldn't be authentic that I not only made my own spicy sauce, but then added some Chinese (translation: spicy as hell) sauce to the dish. 

6. Give the sauce a stir and add it to the wok, continuing to stir and toss. As soon as the sauce has become thick and shiny, add the peanuts, stir them in, and serve. Ladies and gentlemen, the people I was cooking for, namely the same roommates that had to save me from the pepper fiasco, were sweating at the table as we ate. I kid you not. Delicious, it was. Spicy as hell, also it was. (Yes, that was Yoda speak) So.. don't do that. If you are going to add an already-spicy sauce to the dish, don't think you'll maintain the spice by adding more even if you are making more sauce to go with it. That totally didn't work and while we all LOVED the dish, I think we went through 3 or 4 glasses of water each at the dinner table (we were out of milk, if my memory serves me correctly).

So, still successful, and this recipe is actually a GREAT one. Just ease up on the chilies and the Sichuan pepper if you don't like spicy foods (I love them, so I actually adored the dish the way it was, but yes, my roomies were sweating) or can't handle serious spice. But then again, I doubt you'll all make the mistake of adding Chinese sauce to your dishes. So you should be find.

The cure for cancer lies in my desk drawer.

Lies, you says.

NOT LIES! I says.

Okay, maybe not a cure, but here are all the things that this particular item is supposedly good for:

- preventing cancer

- preventing tooth decay

- improving skin

- improving muscle and organ function

- boosting the immune system

- weight loss

- rheumatoid arthritis 

Can you guess what this is? I'll give you some time... ::Whistles the "Jeopardy" theme.. ::

...

... <-- A little extra time for good measure..

IT'S....

Green tea!  Yes, that's right folks, just your plain, ordinary green tea! Now, here's a little disclaimer: I've done all I can think of to try and make this post as humorous as possible. And while interesting, it's not very funny. Sorry. It seems that making fun of my self and recounting my mistakes is a lot more humorous than discussing the origins of tea (gee, wonder why?). So, I apologize for the lack of humor. I'm saving all of my best stories for later! And I don't have very many emails from Beijing - where all of the good stories come from. So, I don't want to give everything way too early. Bear with me, ok? This is still interesting. Yes, yes it is. Just you read and see.. >.<

In order to understand what makes it different from other teas, we first need to know the process of how tea is made.

First, all tea leaves (with the exception of added things like fruit pieces, flowers, etc.) come from the same type of plant: the Camilla Sinensis bush. There are 4 types, in general, of tea: white, green, oolong, black (red in Chinese)

Green tea is rich in catechin polyphenols, particularly epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). EGCG is a powerful anti-oxidant which is twice as powerful as resveratrol, the antioxidant found in red wine that promotes heart health and combats smoking and fatty diets.

The difference lies in the amount of oxidation/fermentation that occurs. When the tea leaves are snapped, crushed, etc. they begin to oxidize (like an apple that you've bitten into and left sit for too long). The white teas are not fermented at all, and in fact the leaves are picked when they are still buds - not fully mature. The green tea is steamed to preserve its beneficial properties. Oolong the next, and black the longest.

Oxidation destroys these antioxidants, which is why oolong and black teas have lower concentrations.

To read more about the benefits and studies, visit these web sites:

The Miracle of Green Tea

How Green Tea Prevents Cancer

Green Tea and Weight Loss (the actual title is too long to list here)

Tea and Cancer Prevention Fact Sheet

So go get some green tea!

NOW!          :)

Authentic Chinese Cooking 101 - Basics

Find Joyce Chen. Love her. Hold her. Cherish her. Tell her how much she means to you. Because without her book, I'd be dead in the water. And you wouldn't have wonderful stories of my awesome cooking-gone-wrong incidents. And how sad would that be? Huh?! .. That was rhetorical, don't answer that ..

I don't know when this was published, which is really depressing since I own a copy of it, but it's amazing. Looks like it was published in .. 1963? I found it in a free book bin at my college - it was material from the public library that had been pulled from the shelves and taken out of circulation. LUCKY ME! Complete with instructions on what cookware you need, Chinese ingredients, good American substitutes, and chock-full of interesting tidbits, it's an all-around I'm-not-a-Chinese-person's Chinese cookbook. (And, p.s. I just bought a new wok yesterday from Ikea for $8. :: Arms held akimbo, head in the air, chest puffed out proudly.. ::)

Funny enough, I just checked out her web site where she advertises that her sauce products have *NO MSG ADDED!* .. One of the staple ingredients of her cookbook is MSG. Haha!  Funny. 

Actually, it's a great flavor booster. And according to several articles I've read, really not a genuine health concern. If you're interested, read the Wikipedia article on monosodium glutamate.

Now, to be fair, I'm not a huge fan of Chen's recipes, but she is from a different region of China than the food I am used to. While her ingredients are definitely genuine, if anyone can tell me how authentic/Americanized her recipes are, I'd be very grateful! 

BUT ALAS! I digress! Where I was I? ... ... ... Oh, right. So. Buy this book. If you can find it.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY

Most, if not all of the ingredients that Chen recommends are pretty authentic and readily available from your local Asian grocer, except the dry sherry. Since they seem to be the most common, these are the ingredients that you should have readily available in your pantry/fridge/broom closet/under the floorboards/wherever you keep your food:

light soy sauce

dark soy sauce

rice wine (you probably should get rice wine vinegar, too, or black Chinese vinegar, or both - I neglected to get either and have been using regular vinegar)

dry Sherry (usually used in place of rice wine but has slightly different flavor, so I bought both. Chen uses the dry sherry in her cookbook)

sesame oil (MUCH CHEAPER from a local Asian grocer than your regular grocery store!!!)

peanut oil

dried, red chilies

Sichuan peppercorns

fresh ginger

fresh garlic

cornstarch (from your local grocery store)

rubber gloves (I'm not kidding)

 <-- Chilies

<-- Sichuan peppercorns

Now, we need to have a short lesson on dried chilies. Just because they are dried (dehydrated) does NOT mean they are any less dangerous than in their normal state. Do not, in any way, shape, or form, attempt to touch them with your bare hands. Many recipes call for crushed chili/red pepper seeds, meaning you need to cut the chilies in half and dump out the seeds. CAUTION: THIS IS A MOST DANGEROUS ENDEAVOR AND IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY! THE FAINT OF HEART SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT THIS TASK!

Seriously. If you touch them with your bare hands, seeds or whole pepper, and then touch your mouth, eye, or any other sensitive part of your body, you will die. And washing your hands after handling them doesn't help.

What actually happens:

your eye stings, turns red, and waters for about ten to fifteen minutes, with lingering stinging sensations after.

What you think is happening:

YOUR EYE IS ERUPTING IN A MASS OF BLOOD, TEARS, EYE GUTS, AND EXPLODING INTO A MIGHTY CONFLAGRATION THAT WILL SOON LEAVE YOU BLIND AND COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE!!!!!!!!!

This is where the rubber gloves come in.  Mistakenly having thought my father owned a box of latex gloves, I didn't buy any. HUGE mistake. I had to wrap my fingers with cling wrap (which doesn't work, by the way) in order to work with the chilies last time I used them.

So, if you don't want to end up looking like this-

then I suggest you invest in some rubber gloves.

Anecdote from Beijing #1

So, I've decided that since I couldn't decide what the heck I wanted to blog about for my first entry, it seemed fitting to take my first mass email to family, friends, and lovers enemies alike from my time in China. I studied intensive Chinese there for almost 6 months, from February - July, 2008. Right before the Olympics, which was an incredible experience. And the greatest thing of all is that YOU ALL HAVE TO READ ANYTHING I DECIDE TO WRITE!  BWWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (that was an evil laugh, in case you didn't catch that..) Right. Back to China. Oh, I've taken out the boring parts and distilled it down to the cool stuff, adding in commentary when appropriate to offset my new-found intelligence about Asia that is clearly displayed in these posts.. So here goes!


****************
March 5, 2008

Hello everyone!

Let's see now...At some point this week, I visited the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square, neither of which were particularly fun.  There are so many solicitors that bother you (especially if you're white) that it really ruins the entire experience, and anything besides walking into and standing in the middle of the Forbidden City costs extra money.  Not sure if I feel like paying that just yet.  After visiting the Forbidden City, we crossed the street to Tiananmen Square and Mao's Mausoleum. Considering that the Mausoleum was closed, we had to find something else to do with out day. So, we sat down in Tiananmen Square and pulled out our map to try and figure out where we wanted to go. While we sat there, a group of five or six elderly Chinese men who looked as if they might be from the countryside wandered over to us and stopped directly in front of us. We raised our heads to find them standing there and blatantly staring at us as if we were some exotic creatures behind glass. After we all exchanged a few nervous chuckles, they meandered off, waving, and taking great care to look back at us as much as possible.  Apparently white people are delicacies in Tiananmen Square (?!?!?)..

On Wednesday, two friends and I walked a 40-minute walk to the Beijing Zoo and spent most of the day there. It cost us 15 yuan - slightly over 2 dollars - and we spent about three hours there and didn't finish getting through the entire thing.  It was quite beautiful, despite the fact that the grass was brown and the trees barren.  The habitats were not small beyond belief despite the common theory - they were roomy, for the most part.  I plan to go back and see the aquarium, which promises to be amazing (or so I'm told).  

At the bird exhibit, an older man with a huge, telephoto lens camera who was taking pictures of some of the exotic suddenly turned as we walked by..

*CLICK.. CLICK.. CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK*  

Yeah.. He had turned his camera on us for at least twenty pictures, and followed us with his obnoxiously enormous lens as we walked by.  The fact that my buddy had pale-as-ever skin and curly, blonde hair didn't help - It was a strangely flattering and unnerving experience all at the same time.

On Thursday, my friends and I visited a Korean hot pot restaurant.  It was amazing.  We sat down at a large table (there were 9 of us) and there were two large copper buckets set down inside the table.  The waitress put two bowls of hot coals in each bucket, and put a cast iron lid over the coals.  Then she brought out a plate of raw beef and cooked it all for us right at the table, dropping it into little bowls of some AMAZING sauce.  Along with the meal was some sort of vegetable and rice dish which comes in a cast-iron skillet, sizzling at the table, with an over-hard egg on top (I later came to find out from some Korean friends that this is called Bi Bim Bop, and I give it TWO THUMBS UP!!  *wiggles thumbs enthusiastically*).  The waitress mixed it all in front of us and served it with a delicious, red, spicy and sweet sauce.  Last, we had a fantastic, spicy soup with mixed vegetables and meat.  And the meat, get this - heart of dog.  Actually delicious, though I'm not one for heart meat in general.  Okay, to be fair, I didn't eat much, just a few pieces to satiate the interest factor.  But overall, not bad.  That was the day we took a novelty trip to the Beijing Wal Mart: the largest in the world. Wow. Not only did I get lost FINDING IT (how, exactly, does one get lost trying to find the world's largest Wal Mart? I still don't really know..) but got lost inside it as well..

On Friday, we did nothing of great importance, and wandered around a huge shopping mall (more like a building for haggling) and Wangfujing Avenue, the most popular tourist street in Beijing.  Haggling, street vendors, and fraudulent items abound all at terribly inflated prices.  A few of my friends tried spit-roasted chicken hearts, starfish, and scorpion.  Needless to say, I wasn't feeling that adventurous (my friend later came down incredibly ill for about two days).  Then we jumped on a bus trying to find goodness knows what else, and ended up being the only signs of life left on the bus, which drove into a shady part of town we adequately named the Kidney Removal District.  Then we got off at a subway stop. No kidney loss, so I guess we can call that a successful day.

Today I spent most of the day at the Silk Road, which is actually a huge building filled with 5 floors of incredible shopping and a 6th floor dedicated to pizza, and Beijing duck.  The sellers in each shop resort to silly sayings as you pass by, including, "Pretty lady, you come in, I give special discount!"  And my all-time favorite, "Look-a, look-a!"  This particular phrase is used by even those who speak almost fluent English.  Among other tactics, they'll grab you and sometimes pull you into their shop as you pass buy.  Haggling, in short, is great sport.  One could easily spend all of his savings money buying things for the mere fun of haggling.  Some vendors, however, will simply shut you down and say, "bye bye" if you quote them a price that's too low.  I was surprised the first time this happened to me, and then realized it was most likely another trick to make you raise your price.  However, I don't appreciate someone ripping merchandise out of my hands and throwing it back on a shelf when they ask me what my best price is, so I decided to simply leave the shop.  Either way, it was great fun.

Tomorrow I find out what classes I will have, and they shall begin Monday at 8:00 a.m.  Unfortunately, the university seems to be very harsh on and particular about attendance, class participation, and grades so I won't be able to goof off and take weekend trips as much as I'd like to, but all in all I'm sure I'll like my classes and it won't be so bad.

That's all for now!

再见 !

- Liz

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What am I doing, exactly?

For some reason which I have yet to decipher in this jumble I like to call my mind, I have decided to study China and Chinese for my career and life's work. Not a particularly well-informed decision at the outset, it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life - it has brought me more interesting opportunities and experiences that I can even begin to describe. Which is exactly why I have started this blog. During my first attempt at cooking Bourbon chicken (yeah, yeah I know, not exactly a truly Chinese dish, so sue me!) I made several mistakes glorious discoveries and realized that I had no one with whom I could share this plethora of wisdom. So, I will do my best to, once a day or once a week, post either a story from my times in China, or something interesting that I read or learned, or some new advice on Chinese cooking, all the while doing my best to make it interesting and lighthearted the whole way through. As of now, I think I'll be posting every day, but this will definitely change once the excitement of a new toy (e.g. my new blog) dies down and I have less to write about. It will probably be once a week.

ENJOY!