I don't have a creative title for this post.

Today's post has absolutely nothing to do with China. I'm in the process of crafting a post on an interesting question posed to me by my brother, but for now, you'll just have to deal with this. It's serious, so if you want to read something funny, jump over to Cake Wrecks, or Hyperbole and a Half - both are accessible by my blog link on the right, over there. -->

I am stressed beyond belief. I just found out today that Boy and I did not get the grant for the concert series we're developing, www.huellaslatinasconcertseries.com - It was worth $10,000 but they didn't even bother to give us a portion of that. Well, not like I REALLY expected to get it. I knew we had made it to the finals, so that was really encouraging, but I'm sure they get thousands of applications every other month. I suppose we'll try and re-apply next cycle - September 3rd deadline.

Next, I actually have an interview for a job at Georgetown University next week. I'm scared and nervous. I know there's a possibility that I won't get it, but there's a possibility that I will. And I need to be prepared for either answer. Completely change my way of life, or not at all. There's no in between.

Home life is stressful. Everyone is constantly busy right now. I hide in my room in order to maintain my sense of self-calm since I am busy thinking and dealing with people all day at my job, but it doesn't always work. I've taken to practicing Yoga more than I ever expected, and I haven't been eating much these last few days. Just forgetting in the midst of everything.

I'm anxious for change in my life, but afraid to actually make it happen. I hate feeling scared and nervous. I know it's normal, but I don't seem to take any comfort in that fact either. I just want to pull a blanket over my head, read a book, drink some tea, and make time stop for a while. I feel like I must be giving myself stomach ulcers, worrying about so much of nothing, but no matter what I do I just can't seem to stop these nerves. Really, this would be a perfect time to start smoking (I won't).

For goodness' sake, I went to a country where I barely spoke the language and got around just fine, went off by myself, made travel arrangements, traveled 5,000 miles alone, and the idea of having a life change is scary. What is the matter with me?

I don't know about you, but I have no interest in being an adult. I don't want to check my credit report. I don't want to have to go buy groceries. I don't want to think about my cell phone bills. I don't want to think about investing money. I don't want to do job interviews.

Dear Lord, please help me to not lose my mind. Nor get stomach ulcers. Amen.