Yesterday (5/25) was a great day. (Looking back on it, I'm not sure I'd ever choose that word ever again..) My friend Alex and I went
horseback riding to the same place where I went a few weeks ago. This
was a most RIDICULOUS experience, and will take a while to discuss, so I
hope you all have enough time!!
We hopped on the bus at 7:30 a.m. and got near the grasslands by
9:30. However, some older Chinese guy that I recognized from the last
time I went to the grasslands approached me and told me to come ride his
horses. I was skeptical, but the bus stopped at a different stop and
apparently the route had been changed - it no longer went directly to
the grasslands. So Alex and I got off as the guy offered to take us to
his section of the grasslands for free by minivan. I was careful to
watch the roads to make sure we were going in the proper direction,
which we were. (Yes, Alex and I got into a van with an almost-complete stranger in the middle of nowhere hours from the city. Alex is over 6 feet tall and incredibly fit, so I wasn't worried. I guess, for the same reasons, neither was Alex! Pictures of the Grasslands are below..)
We arrived and Alex and I paid to ride horses for an hour. We got
on our horses, and they were problematic from the beginning. Alex's
wouldn't do anything besides stand there. No amount of kicking or
slapping would make it move. Mine was the exact opposite, crazy as the
day is long. It did the exact opposite of what I told it to, was
jittery, and began backing up when I tried to make it walk - in short, I
was afraid I was going to be thrown off. I'm no horse expert, but I
can tell when a horse has a nasty temper or when I'm not giving it clear
commands - this one was trouble. So Alex and I walked our horses back
to the mounting area. (All in mediocre Chinese) I told them that Alex's
horse was stubborn, and mine was troublesome and that I was
uncomfortable. (Alex's Chinese was much better than mine so he would jump in here and there to help clarify what i was saying.) I told them to give me a new horse. They said there was
no need and once I was out on the grasslands and away from the barn
area, they'd be better behaved. Well, having experienced this before, I
trusted their word (a huge mistake) and tried to take the horses back
out. Every time I was harder on my horse, the worse it got. Finally an
older, Chinese man on a horse approached us and told us that for 30
yuan (a huge ripoff) he would strap our horses to his and take us out
onto the grasslands.
Then it hit me - they gave us the worst-behaved horses they had,
being white and thinking we had money, so that we'd HAVE to pay extra
for them to take us out. Then I got pissed (please excuse the language,
but there is no other word for it). Beyond belief. I flatly told the
guy that it was too expensive and that I was NOT paying him to ride a
horse when I had been trained to ride a horse since I was a child and
knew what I was doing.
Finally, Alex and I got so frustrated that we returned the horses
15 minutes early (yes, we did NOTHING but try and command our horses
into submission for 45 minutes). We dismounted, and were asked by Mr.
Swindler (the guy on the bus who took us to his horses) why we had come
back early. I, incredibly angrily, explained that our time was almost
up and that we had done NOTHING for 45 minutes but ride trouble-horses.
Now, before I continue the story, I have to explain a little about
Chinese culture - people are very modest here. They are quick to dole
out compliments, because the receiver of the compliment is supposed to
deny the compliment in a modest way, a sign of not being full of
themselves. So, doling out insults is completely out of the question.
It's all about saving face, and insulting someone makes you look like a
jerk. No Chinese person that I have ever met would insult anyone to their face (unless of
course they were in a verbal argument).
So, Mr. Swindler approaches me and says (in Chinese of course),
"That's okay. You just don't know how to ride, you have very poor
form. But that's okay, you can ride a motorcycle or a dune buggy or
something else."
I gave him the most ridiculous look on the planet. I'm surprised
droll didn't start falling out of my mouth from shock. He continued,
"You just can't ride. ("Bu hui, bu hui" in Chinese) You just can't
ride, poor form."
Wrong timing, dude. Absolute wrong timing. For those of you who
know me or who have seen me angry, you'll note that two things created a
situation that was INCREDIBLY unfavorable for him:
1) He told me that I don't know how to do something when I do.
2) He insulted me when I was angry. (I may be a white girl, but
I'm great at performing 180s, especially when I'm upset)
So, not believing what I was hearing, I looked to Alex who happened
to be sitting to my right, and said,
"Is he really telling me that I don't know how to ride?"
Alex looked to the ground, nodded his head subtly, bit his lower
lip, and replied,
"..Yeah..he is."
I stood up, and forgetting about the 20-or-so people who were
sitting around watching this happen, I stared him down and said in
Chinese,
"I don't know how to ride? Then you teach me! Go. Now. Go ride
my horse. Teach me."
He stood there, flabbergasted. So again, I yelled,
"NOW! GO RIDE MY HORSE!"
So, accepting the challenge like the prideful jerk that he was, he
approached my horse, and mounted it.
And had more trouble than I did. The horse was pretty upset, and
absolutely unwilling to obey him in any way, shape or form. The crowd
behind us was watching him deal with this jerky, anxious, foul-tempered
animal. And I, gloating in my satisfaction, turned to the crowd, and
presented my arms very wide, making sure to display his, and yelled at
the top of my lungs,
"HE CAN'T DO IT! HE CAN'T DO IT!"
And they all broke into wild laughter.
Then things took a sad turn. Mr. Swindler dismounted and put up a
young boy from the ranch. This young boy proceeded to wildly beat this
poor animal with a bamboo stick when it refused to obey his commands.
He hit the horse everywhere - rump, side, shoulders, neck, face, any
place you could think of. I asked Mr. Swindler what he was doing.
"Training him," was his answer.
I laughed in his face. "Are you joking?!"
"No, I'm not joking."
"Yeah, right, some training."
So I told Mr. Swindler to stop, and get the boy down, and stop
beating the horse. Which did happen, to my surprise. After they tied
up the horse, I went to it to try and calm it down (it must have been
scared out of its wits). I just stood there for a few minutes, petting
its face and neck and scratching it behind the ears.
Then, a nice, older man approached my and offered to let me ride
his horse, a large white one I told him that I would ride only if they
gave Alex a horse. However, Alex was unnerved by the experience and
didn't feel comfortable enough to ride any longer, so he declined. So, I told
Alex I'd be back in five minutes. This horse seemed pretty calm and
well-tempered when I approached it, so I took a chance. And it was a
great horse. It was responsive to every little command I gave it. So, I
rode him out a little ways, and feeling that it wanted to return to the
mounting area where it could just stand around, I dropped the reins and
let it gallop full-speed back to where everyone happened to be watching
me ride in on a huge white horse, obviously knowing what I was doing.
Take that, Mr. Swindler.
That's it for now! Tune in again later to find out how we got out of this situation...
Until next time (which hopefully won't be weeks and weeks from now)
